So we all know that in order for us to get our beautiful babies we have to endure 9/10 months of growing them.
I never imagined myself being pregnant . I’ve never been the most maternal of women. but when we were made godparents to our gorgeous God daughter , and we had been trusted with another little persons life, me and Norms had a talk, why if our best friends can entrust their little new baby with us if anything was to happen, can we not trust ourselves with a baby?? So we decided to try for a baby.
And don’t get me wrong, trying is fun. But like I said in my other post, it can become consuming . especially for a woman. I longed for a baby so much. a little life that was half me and half Norms. that I MADE. I became obsessed, even resorting to lying on my back with my legs above my head after having sex, pillow underneath the arse, all that. It wasn’t fun anymore. so we decided to stop inputting data, checking when I was ovulating and all that, and just see what happens. and low and behold , IT HAPPENED.
I remember the day like it was yesterday. 13th February 2016. I had been feeling wank all week at work, I work in the local hospital and Nora Virus was going round, so I assumed it was something to do with that. one night I even went to bed at 7.30pm! I was SO TIRED. So me and Norms did our usual of going to the pub Friday night, I got REALLY drunk, shots and everything! Got up for work on the Saturday, and felt awful! But it felt different to a hangover. And come to think of it . .I was 5 days late for my period . .I didn’t think much of it, since coming off the pill my periods and hormones were all over the place! so I put it down to that. but something was niggling me..could it be?…
So there i was, on the Saturday night, getting ready to go for dinner with Norms parents as it was his dad’s birthday. I thought, fuck it. I’m going to do a test. The shower was running, Norms was downstairs, I’ll just do one. Well I pissed on that little stick (and all over my hand- how hard is it to piss on a stick?!) and I waited. Washed my face, looked at myself in the mirror, anything to pass those 2 minutes. Then I saw it. the faintest, littlest line. Well I couldn’t bloody believe it!!!! I ran downstairs naked and found Norms washing the pots.
“Babe…look at this. ..do you see what I see? it is, isn’t it? I think I’m pregnant.” I was shaking like fuck. literally , my hand was moving faster than one of them fancy cars from top gear.he looked, and said something about the line being really faint. I promptly told him it didn’t need to be really bold it just needed to be there! I decided I needed more piss sticks . and I needed them NOW. So I made him stop then washing up, get in the car with me and go to asda to get some more piss sticks. I literally ran to the aisle and grabbed the first ones I could see. Paid the self service thing (God they are awful) and got in the car, telling norms to get home ASAP.
When I got home, I ran upstairs , and pissed on that bloody stick again. we waited for what seemed like an age! then there it was..the little line! I looked at norms, he looked at me and I said “well I guess we’re having a baby!!” I couldn’t believe it ! I was in shock! He thought the line was a bit faint, so wasn’t entirely convinced. I sent a picture to my best friend, simply saying “do you see what I see?” She rang me back immediately congratulating us!
Wow. I was pregnant. All those months of trying and here we were.
The first few weeks seemed to drag, making appointments at doctors, feeling sick, feeling SO FUCKING TIRED. Honestly, no one tells you how tired you’re going to be. Like, so tired I could of fallen asleep stood up having a conversation tired. One night I fell asleep with my tea on my lap watching the Hollyoaks first look episode, that’s on at 7pm. I felt like I was permanently hungover! I didn’t suffer with actual vomiting in the first trimester, however I had constant nausea up until about 13 weeks. Only when we went for our first scan was i starting to feel a bit better. I remember one time, I had taken norms to Edinburgh as a surprise for his 40th birthday, and he wanted to go for a curry (as like all men curry is his staple diet washed down with about 7 pints) well I was in the restaurant and I knew I had made a big mistake. A stomach churning, coriander heaving mistake. I ordered food and pushed it around my plate- all I wanted to do was sleep and drink tea. Not be in a bloody Indian restaurant with all the herbs and spices making me feel like I was as queasy as I don’t know what. It was horrendous.
After the first scan (which is amazing by the way, what an and making feeling seeing your own little baby that you and making really growing inside of you!) The second trimester was kinder. You start to get a bit of a baby bump, you have told friends and family, everything is exciting, and your waiting to feel those magical kicks. I remember I started to get a little bit of a bump around 18-19weeks – just before we went for our 20 week scan. that’s the big one! we obviously wanted to know if everything was OK with the little shrimp, I had started to feel flutters , it was amazing. but of course, I would be lying if I didn’t say we really wanted to know what we were having. a pink or blue. a little boy or a little girl. it is funny when people say “Oh we don’t mind as long as they are healthu” because in all honesty that’s actually what we thought. we’d never had a baby before, so had nothing to compare one or the other to. we just felt so lucky and privileged too actually be having this experience that we honestly were not bothered.
So when we found out we were team BLUE we were thrilled ! how exciting! of course family were thrilled. however norms dear grandma Doris (she’s a bit deaf) when we rang her to tell her, his mum was there too, she couldn’t hear a word we were saying. so when we yelled (and I mean yelled) down the phone “IT’S A BOY!!” we were hit with silence..(not really the he reaction we were hoping for if I’m completely honest 😂) and then “OH A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL, CAROLE, YOUR GOING TO HAVE A GRANDDAUGHTER”………………………………..errrrrrrrrm. …….awks . so norms mum bless her is weeping because she thinks we’re giving her a granddaughter, cue us yelling GRANDSON…GRANDSON…BOY…A BOY…down the phone for I would say a good 2 minutes, and for us to have to explain that in fact we are having a boy to a hysterical carole who is now very confused (as were we…are we sure we are having a boy? it all got a bit confusing).
So my belly got a bit bigger, and I’ll be honest, I did enjoy pregnancy right up until the end. it was the height of summer when I was heavily pregnant, and it was tough going. I mean, I have a weak bladder anyway. but we had a heatwave so I was drinking lots, however thay meant lots and LOTS of wees . literally I would have a wee, stand up, do the wiping business, then by the time I’ve pulled my pants and maternity leggings up, I need another one. so I’d go again. and the night times were the worst. sometimes I’d try and hold on for as long as possible but with a baby’s head resting right in your bladder, let me tell you it didn’t last long. then you’d have the whole turtle on its back thing, me trying to roll out of bed, getting tangled in my 12ft sausage pillow which come to think of it I didn’t even like anyway but somehow still slept with it every bloody night, and getting up, waddling to the bathroom to sit and have the tiniest piss. it got endless. plus there was the sweating, the hormones and I also got carpel tunnel in my fingers, basically where the excess fluid from pregnancy swelling rests on your nerves and makes your fingers and hands go all tingly. I could barely do up my sandals, do up a necklace, putting my hair up, it was all a massive struggle.
but let me tell you about the CANKLES. I was so lucky not to get them until right at the very end of my pregnancy. but jesus – when they came, they came with a vengeance. some days I could barely walk !
It was awful. the pressure your feet and legs and ankles feel is immense. by the time I was about 35 weeks pregnant I had had enough. it was peaking at 30°C some days, I had oblong legs and feet and was lugging a bloody baby around in my belly. it was hard. I was so glad to finish work at 36 weeks pregnant. I was so pleased with myself that I had made it to that long.
So a few pointers about being Keith chegs:
1. You’ll need to piss. a lot. get used to it. you think it’s bad at the beginning? just wait.
2. cankles will probs happen. they are horrible and they hurt. I can’t express enough how when people say “put your feet up” to actually listen to them. elevate the fuck out of your trotters. I put mine in a bin filled with cold water under my desk at one point.
4. you won’t be able to see or shave your vagina after a while. just move on. that ship has sailed. trust me- after the birth you won’t want to see it anyway so make the most of not being able to.
5. or your legs. unless your nimble as fuck. I in this case, was not.
6. ginger biscuits help with morning sickness STOCK. THE. FUCK. UP.
But all in all, pregnancy for me was OK. it really is an amazing experience and all who get to go through it are very lucky indeed. I loved taking photos of my bump week after week and even did a special photo album on my phone to compare, it really is astounding what the human body can do.